First, I had to get over the fact that the person I was having sex with-okay, I'll say it, the person I was shtupping -was a man. I didn't really care that he was married, because, after all, so was I.

No, it was the maleness of him, the way that, no matter how he positioned himself, in however feminine a position, I could not get past his linearity, his stringiness, his ranginess, his hairiness.

The person I was banging-okay, I'll say it, poking-was not a woman, and he was not single. He'd been married so long he wanted to have sex with me. And who was I? I was just another married man going at it-okay, I'll say it, forming the double-backed monster-with a hitched dude.

Not that he wasn't sweet. He was very nice. The experience was gentle, as well as testicular. Sometimes, two men have got to do what two men have got to do. That is, get penile, in a virile way.